Tuesday, October 7, 2008

My last day in the Garden

I am officially unemployed. I worked through the day yesterday and by 5:45 I had mustered up the courage (with the help of many, many solicited prayers and text messages from friends and family) to tell them I was leaving...for good.

I had rehearsed what I wanted to say over and over and over in my head. When the time came to actually say it, words didn't come out exactly as I'd planned. But it did the job and now I'm moving on. There was no fanfare, no tears, no "Oh you'll be so missed!!!" And I'm cool with that. It just reaffirms my decision. I know I've done the right thing for me.

Why didn't I stay and finish out the week? There are many reasons. I couldn't shake the feeling of being used. "Help us pack up your livelihood and then we're through with you," is what it felt like. It was also too emotionally draining to walk in there and join everyone in the "everything is hunk-dory, business as usual, lad-ti-da" attitudes that they had. No one seemed to want to acknowledge that this was an unimaginably difficult time for us. Not all of us were leaving this situation with a job. Things are changed...forever.

And in the end, I just couldn't stand by and watch my fellow employees be treated so callously and unprofessionally. I don't like confrontation, so for myself to become a doormat wouldn't be a surprise to anyone. But when people I care about are thrown under the bus with no notice at all and expected to take it like a champ...that doesn't set well. I won't go into details because I'm sure Mary will want to on her new blog (YAY! Something good DID come out of this! *haha*), but basically she wasn't given the final week of employment we were all promised on Thursday night when the curtain fell. And the reason they gave her was completely bogus. I decided that staying around as if nothing was wrong was condoning their behavior and I couldn't have a part in that.

So after SEVEN, count em', SEVEN years (1,2,3,4,5,6,7...sorry, couldn't resist) I have left Scrapbook Garden. It wasn't an easy decision...and I probably wouldn't have ever done it on my own. I was comfortable there. It was what I knew. It was easy. But as I've told my hurting coworkers, it was no Holy Grail of jobs. It wasn't perfect. Yes, we liked the people we worked with, sure, but there's no reason we can't continue to be friends and get together! We can enjoy each others' company without boundaries of work. Yes, we love scrapbook supplies, but what's going to stop us from continuously surrounding ourselves with those? We all practically have our own stores in our scrap-rooms anyway. *hehe*

This is a chance for all of us to find something better. To break out of the shell we were in and discover what God has in store. I know it's hard and when it really sets in I'll probably be freaking out, but at this very moment I'm breathing a sigh of relief. I feel that the burden I was carrying since Thursday night has been released and now I can set my eyes on the future!!!

Here's a shout-out for my girls from the East store!!! I love each of you...you're fabulous women. I REFUSE to lose touch with you! Let's never settle for "ok" again. We deserve to be appreciated and treated with respect. I pray that each of you will find a place of employment that TRULY values the amazing qualities you have to offer.
Mat 10:14 And whoever will not receive you, nor will hear your words, having gone out of that house or city, shake off the dust from your feet.

It's not the end
But it feels like it is
I'm waking up
Like I'm back from the dead
I'm steppin' out
And I feel so afraid
But as long as I'm movin' it's all right
I feel alive
And it hurts for a change
No lookin' back
It's hard to believe
That I was cool
With the days that were wasted
Complacent and tasteless and bored
But that was yesterday!
We're never going back to "ok"
We're never going back to "easy"
We're never going back to the way it was
We're never going back to "ok"


Michelle said...

You are absolutely right! In everything you said in your post. There's something better (certainly less stressful!) out there! And while I would never wish harm or failure on anyone I hope that someday some people open their eyes to how badly they ALL handled this situation.

~Samantha said...

You have such a way with words :) I really enjoyed reading your post.

Just think..no more B98 or John Tesh :)

Mary said...

You are much more eloquent than I. Hey everyone look, Sarah is the lead dog of this pack. Yea. No more medium-sized kahuana for you! You go girl!!!

Thank you from my heart. True friend!

a chick named Toni... said...

Sarah...Mary said it the best! You are the lead dog of this pack! And Sam said it right also you do have a way with words. I am so proud of you for standing up for what you believe in and what is right. I know that took a lot of courage! I wish I could give you a big hug right now! And we will stay in touch and get together. Everything is going to be just fine! :)