"It's Not Fair!"

Please enjoy the funniest thing I've seen in a looong time. I hope it makes you giggle as much as it did me! :) I know you'll at least agree that IT'S NOT FAIR!!

(I love the subtle Justin Timberlake video references...and you know you're going to be going around singing, "When my world revolves around food it's so hard just not to eeeeeeeat!!!!!")

Speaking of food and all that jazz, my regular readers are probably wondering why I haven't weighed in the last two weeks. Well there really hasn't been much to report. My eating has been sketchy and my workout regimen has been less that stellar. I've only gained like 1.5 pounds over these two weeks which is minimal damage so I'm OK with it. 

Now, I haven't been bingeing like mad or anything crazy. It's just been a bit hard to adjust to my new schedule and keep everything else on track at the same time. I ate out a lot last week because I didn't get my lunch ready to bring with me.  I'm also adding about 4 hours onto my day, which adds more time for cramming in calories. *haha* And I'm still trying to think up healthy snacks I can bring with me that AREN'T loaded with carbs but are still easy to pack up in the morning. (I've been eating too many granola bars recently. *haha*) 

My exercise opportunities have been cut in half to begin with, but then I've had some additional activities in the past week and a half that have limited it further. And I'm so pooped when I get home in the evenings the LAST thing I wanna do is head to the gym. I know, I know, welcome to a normal life. I guess I didn't appreciate what I had until it was gone, y'know? In hindsight, I am very grateful to have had the opportunity to do some hardcore blubber-blasting for the months I was out of work. I know it sped up my progress...and hopefully instilled some habits that I'll be able to continue once I get myself adjusted.

I've got a headache...THIS BIG!

I think I've already established that stairs are not a friend of mine. (Exhibit A and Exhibit B) But today I found a whole new way to make them dangerous.

I was vacuuming the upper flight of stairs with the hose attachment. We live in a tri-level so there's a mini flight going up and another leading to the basement. I had just finished the upper level and was making my way downward.  Well the vacuum was sitting at the top of the stairs and I was hunched over, vigorously combing and brushing (because, as previously mentioned, my dogs shed and it ain't particularly easy to vacuum up their delightful assortment of hair). I initially had planned on moving the vacuum to the bottom of the stairs once I was midway through.  But I was so engrossed in the hair removal that I lost track of how far I'd gone.

Then all of the sudden....BAM! The entire 15lb vacuum (yes, I weighed it) came crashing down on top of my head. OUCH. I sprang to my feet and shouted "OOW! OWOWOWOWOW!!!" so that my sleeping husband would hear me and come to my rescue. (Poor guy, but honestly he needed to get up anyway.) My head was throbbing like mad and I think my vision was even a little blurry...but that was probably just because of the tears in my eyes. *pout*  In what seemed like ages later, Jeremy popped out of the bedroom with a "Wha'? What happened??"

"I pulled the vacuum down onto my head!"

"Huh?"

"I PULLED THE VACUUM ONTO MY HEAD!!!"

"How did you do that??"

*overdramatic pulling motions* "I PULLED...THE VACUUM...DOWN...ONTO MY HEAD!"

He was so groggy, he really didn't get it. "How was your head lower than the vacuum?" *sigh* So I positioned the vacuum back at the top of the stairs and showed him exactly how it happened. His loving, gentle, caring response?

"Well that was retarded! Why were you doing it like that?" 

Thanks babe. Thanks a ton. That's really what I needed to hear right now. That kind of thing really should have been reserved for AT LEAST an hour or so later...or for me to say myself. *haha* Well he quickly realized the error of his ways (probably because of the piercing glare I gave him through my tears) and came and hugged me and apologized. Then we both kinda laughed...and he went and showered and came out in his "I Love My Wife" t-shirt. He's so cute. *haha*

I don't think I need to tell you that I have a massive headache and a goose egg about the size of my nose on the back of my head. They really should put a warning on the back of vacuums. (That way sane people like my husband would look at it and say, "Well that's stupid! Who the heck would do it like THAT?")

Step it up

This is EXACTLY what I was talking about!!! How can anybody keep up with all these moves and spins and turns? It absolutely makes my head spin.

CORNCOB!!!

I was taking my doggies on a nice walk around our neighborhood yesterday, enjoying the lovely weather and sunshine. As we turned a corner, I saw this teenage girl in the distance walking around yelling something. I couldn't hear what she was saying, but from the whistling that accompanied the shouting, I assumed she was calling a dog. Once we got closer, I strained to hear what exactly she was saying. To the best of my judgement, I thought she was saying, "CORNCOB!" I thought, "Wow, what a horrible name for a dog!" *haha* And I swear, every time she yelled it I was more and more sure that it was Corncob. 

Quite a while later, this car pulled up and stopped beside us. Sitting in the passenger seat was the girl, looking sweaty and annoyed. "Excuse me," she said, "have you seen a small dog running around here anywhere?" I told her I hadn't, but asked for a description in case I did see him. "He's a bright red little tiny chihuahua." Bright red? Really? Wow, that I'd like to see! I asked her where she lived in case I DID happen to find him (and somehow managed to wrangle him without my own three dogs getting away...or eating him...) I could be the hero and bring him home.

Before she drove off I said, "Oh wait! What's his name?" 

"Schwarzkopf." (If that's not spelled right, blame Google.)

I choked back a chuckle, but I wanted to tell her, "Lady, the reason your little dog isn't coming to you is because it SOUNDS like you're calling someone named CORNCOB!"

I never did see the little dog, although I really did keep my eyes peeled. For one, I felt terrible that they'd lost the poor thing and I know I'd be panicked if my babies were loose. But I was also a little worried about a crazed, hyper chihuahua tearing around the corner and starting a dogfight with my crew. I mean, I've seen Dog Whisperer...the chihuahuas are the scariest cases!! *haha* 

In other news, I got some new shoes! I got them at Wally World for 8 bucks! Wow whadda bargain! :) They're slingbacks with cute little bows on the toes. Check'em out.

On my feet...

...and my attempt at being photographically creative. :)

Extreme Makeover: Sarah edition

I am in desperate need of a hair makeover.  I haven't done anything with it (except trim it occasionally) for over a year. No color, no style, no nothing. It seems like whenever we have had the extra money that I could have invested in a hairdo, I've decided to spend it on something else. I'm starting to feel a little frumpy and blah, though, and I know it's time for a change. But I really have no idea WHAT to do with it.  

I've been very, very Marilyn Monroe blonde before, but I don't want to go back to something that needs that kind of upkeep (since obviously I'm not great about getting myself to a salon.) My hair is normally about shoulder length (although it's gotten quite a bit longer than that, now). I've always wanted to do something kinda short and spunky, but I'm afraid it will make my face look fat. I've considered bangs since I seem to have a never ending amount of hair growth at the front of my scalp *grrr*, but I just don't know. What to do? What to do?

So I found this site called Taaz.It's one of those things where you upload a photo of yourself and so you can see what different hairstyles would look like on you.  Let me tell you, more than anything else it scared me to death to get my hair cut! So many UNFLATTERING styles out there! Yikes! In the end I just started playing around and having fun with it. Ok, here's my starting photo:

Me, with my hair pulled back, on Super Bowl Sunday (Livvie took this picture, btw. Impressive, yes?)

First, let's try one of these short styles on for size:

Um, oh my. See what I mean about a fat face? Maybe it's just me. I actually do like that color, though.

Now let's try some bangs:

And a really, really unnatural color. Eek! (But actually, I don't mind this cut. It could work.)

So did I mention you can also play around with virtual makeup and stuff? It's FUN! And you can change your eye color. So let's see what I would have looked like with my sister's (and her beautiful children's) signature "ice blue" eyes:

Um, a little scary. Almost "undead." Fair skin + ice blue eyes = nah-so-purdy. :(

Ok, here I am sportin' my best 70's news anchor/30 year old Mommy 'do:

It's so sexy and you know it.

So by now you're ready to really see what this baby can do, right? Ok, let's take the whole darn package: eyelashes, foundation, blush, lipstick,flowing blonde locks, teeth whitening. This is really gonna be GOOD! 

Ooooh! Can we say Texas Pageant Queen?? Holy false eyelashes, Batman! 

In conclusion: If you are looking for a serious way to discover your best new look...don't try this. BUT, if you have too much time on your hands and are looking for a way to make yourself giggle all alone in an empty room? This is a winner. 

(P.S. I think it would be an absolute blast if all of YOU played with this online toy and shared/blogged your results! It's really, super easy to do.)

Cake Wrecks

I love "Ace of Cakes" on the Food Network! They seem like the coolest group of people. Duff (the owner and head chef) has the greatest laugh and laid-back personality; he always makes me smile. The talent these guys possess never fails to amaze me. Every single cake they make is AMAZING!! I would love to work there, but alas, they'd never let me. Because for one thing, I'm not nearly cool or quirky enough to fit in with their crew. But mainly they wouldn't hire me because I would turn out cakes that look like this:

Cake Wrecks

Have you ever seen this website? I discovered it the other day and it had me (literally) LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!! Basically it's a collection of "professional" cakes that are absolute botches. Some of them have ridiculous misspellings, some are the result of a miscommunication between baker and customer...and some are just poorly, tragically decorated. Go, you simply must! You will not regret it. Absolutely HILARIOUS! The cakes aren't the only funny thing...the writing is witty and sarcastic and sure to make you smile! Check it out! (Here's another favorite of mine! You won't believe!)

The first post that really lives up to this blog's name

Heya! A couple of you have asked me to post a picture of me in my new glasses. Today I've been playing around with my laptop's built in camera, so here ya go!

Um...and then after capturing my "normal" self, I felt inclined to experiment with the other features that were available. (Note: these are not for the faint of heart. *hehe*)

Here I am with my *ahem* twin sister.

Here I am as every elementary school student's worse nightmare:

Here I am with some impressive eyelashes, but the tradeoff just isn't worth it:

Poor Wrigley...

And here...well....just see for yourself.

I'll leave you with a more pleasant image...don't want anyone having nightmares now do I? This feature is called "colored pencil" and I like it alot.

"Take On Me" - Literally.

Just a little humor to make you smile. I've watched it 4 times already and have giggled the whole way through each time. Hope it makes you laugh too!

FAVORITE LINES:

"Band Montaaaaaaage!"

"Show this guy then cut back to these two."

"What are they doing with our magic frame?!"

*hahahahahahahaha*

I AM annoyed that Blogger will let me add this video but not any of my personal collection from Liv's party. *grrrr*